Monday, December 6, 2010

Running and Anger

“Happiness is inward, and not outward; and so, it does not depend on what we have, but on what we are.”

Henry Van Dyke

Last night I was angry, I decided to sleep on my problem and I woke up just as angry. But, I had a bit more perspective this morning than I had the evening before.

It was brought to my attention last night that my spinner ring tutorial had been “gifted” to a group of people. Someone bought it then “gave” copies to their friends, in essence stealing.

Many many emotions come into your heart when someone steals from you, hurt, betrayal and anger were strong ones for me.

This morning I went for me run, I lagged a bit getting going. Stretched for longer than I normally do, maybe hoping I’d talk myself out of going. As I walked outside my husband gave me a smile, a hug and said “today will be better”.

As I trudged along huffing and puffing, I started to feel something happening. I felt a weight lifting, anger sweating out my pores. The realization hit me that there really wasn’t a damn thing I could do about this. I cannot make people be honest, I can only do my best in the moment.

My best today involves taking care of me, my family and my close friends. Protecting my own sanity, caring for those close to me and looking forward to the future spent with those who love me.

I ran longer and harder than usual and in those moments of pain and soreness that come from exerting ourselves I pushed through, and kept going. And as drama, demands and anger come forward over this event I’m going to push through and keep going.

As I crested a small hill today running towards the water this greeted me, I am positive it welcomed me into a better day.


Elisabeth said...

Great post!

Pretty Things said...

Oh wow, how in the world did you find that out?

I know on Lampwork Etc that was a huge topic not too long ago, about tutorials being "gifted". I don't know what runs through people's minds. I'm so sorry.

Brandi said...

It's such a hard thing to trust people sometimes, isn't it? A lot of things are running through my mind after reading this, and I hurt for you. Having your ideas and thoughts and hard work taken without compensation is never an easy thing to deal with.

I applaud you for continuing forward! I applaud you for not letting the frustration hold you down, and for choosing to rise above the negative feelings. That, too, isn't easy or simple, and I think it's so brave.

Courtney said...

Yes! Congrats on a great run! Sounds like it was great, all the way around.

My Life Under the Bus said...

Just remember one word - Karma - don't let it bring you down. It does suck but there are so many more people who are truly awesome and uplifting. XOXO, Patty